In search of your tribe … Belonging

 After a long, exhausting day, there’s nothing quite as comforting as returning home to the welcoming smiles of your loved ones. It is a profound relief—a sense of belonging, of being seen and embraced without the need to justify or apologize for simply being yourself.

During my travels, I am frequently asked, “Where do you belong?” This question underscores the universal human need for belonging. Brené Brown captures this sentiment perfectly: “Belonging is a deep emotional need, and when it is met, we feel seen and valued.” It is the warmth that makes us feel wanted, part of something larger than ourselves, and cherished for who we truly are.

To me, belonging is freedom—free from judgment or pretence, a safe space where masks are unnecessary. It is the simple comfort of being surrounded by people who genuinely understand and accept you, and vice versa. This profound sense of belonging offers a liberating sense of ease and peace.

Reflecting on my upbringing, being a girl educated in Bihar often came with stereotypes associated with the “Bihari” identity. Yet, I have never shied away from embracing who I am. Choosing to become a homemaker and a mother of two wonderful children was a deliberate decision, one I hold with pride and confidence. Through this journey, I have learned to accept myself, flaws and all, and this self-acceptance has been a source of strength. For me, belonging isn’t about conforming to societal moulds; it’s about embracing authenticity and remaining rooted in one’s origins. As the saying goes, “Belonging is not about fitting in; it’s about standing out in a crowd that accepts you for who you are.”

When we think of belonging, we often picture a group of people—be it family, friends, or a community—who make us feel accepted. Sometimes, it’s our passions or professions that create this sense of belonging. But does it come effortlessly, or does it require effort? Building and maintaining belonging requires intentionality, though it should feel enriching, not burdensome. It begins with showing up—be it at family gatherings, social events, community festivals, or lending a helping hand to a neighbour. Your presence, both physical and emotional, fosters meaningful connections that nurture a sense of belonging.

Equally important is how we define ourselves and articulate our shared values and beliefs. However, it’s crucial to distinguish belonging from people-pleasing. The latter often involves compromising one’s own needs for external acceptance, which can be detrimental to well-being. While it’s commendable to bring joy to others, it should never come at the expense of one’s identity or happiness. Over time, the pursuit of external validation can lead to burnout and dissatisfaction, whereas true belonging arises from self-acceptance and authenticity.

Belonging isn’t about blending in—it’s about standing out among those who celebrate your true self. It’s a journey of continuous growth and authenticity. Embrace it, evolve, and find the spaces where you truly belong.

Belonging is not about fitting in but about standing out with the right crowd of your own people. It is created by being your true self.

So, just keep evolving and belonging!!